#ChooseKind Book Recommendations for Younger Readers

I've always loved to read, and I couldn't wait to share this passion with my children.  When Peter was in NICU, we recorded our family reading books so that he could hear our voices even when we weren't there.  After Jacob was born, bedtime reading became Peter's favorite part of the day because he got to have Mom or Dad all to himself!

I've spent countless hours reading to my boys over the years.  After the chaos of the day, it was always a time of relaxation and comfort.  Although they are now 16 and 12, we continue to include family reading through audio books on long car rides.  I also still enjoy searching for books to read together and can now ask for their opinion on the story and it's message.

Jacob has become my collaborator in reviewing books that might support our #ChooseKind message. He and I read the books together and decide if it's a "keeper" for our list.  Wonder by R.J. Palacio is, of course, our favorite book to share the #ChooseKind message. Because it's a story best for ages 10+, however, we are often asked for picture book recommendations about kindness.

Listed below are books on our shelf that we've read together and feel worthy of recommending to young readers.  Several of these books speak directly about kindness and empathy while others are ones we've enjoyed because of their positive message and engaging story.

We hope you enjoy one of our recommendations and sneak in some extra snuggle time with your little one(s).  We are always looking for book suggestions, so please share your favorites by posting in the comments.

Picture Books about Kindness, Empathy, Being Different, and Anti-Bullying

• We're All Wonders by R.J. Palacio - To be released on March 28, 2017 (obviously we haven't read this one yet, but how can it not be included?!)
• Love Monster by Rachel Bright - Perfect for Valentine's Day!
• Kindness is Cooler Mrs. Ruler by Margery Cuyler
• Be Who You Are by Todd Parr
• It's Okay to Be Different by Todd Parr
• What Does it Mean to be Kind? by Rana DiOrio
• Last Stop on Market Street by Matt DeLa Peña
• Enemy Pie by Derek Munson
• Kindness Counts by Bryan Smith
• Chester Raccoon and the Big Bad Bully by Audrey Penn
• My Secret Bully by Trudy Ludwig
• Exclamation Mark by Amy Krouse Resenthal & Tom Lichtenheld
• The Berenstain Bears: Kindness Counts by Jan & Mike Berenstain
• What Was I Scared Of? by Dr. Seuss
• Horton Hears a Who! by Dr. Seuss
• Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss

Picture Books about Self-Esteem or a Positive Life Lesson

• Incredible Me! by Kathi Appelt
• Yes: Life is Waiting.  Are You Ready? by Kobi Yamada
• What Do You Do with and Idea? by Kobi Yamada
• You Can be Anything! by Charles M. Schulz
• When I Feel Angry by Cornelia Maude Spelman
• Find Your Happy by M.H. Clark
• I'm Gonna Like Me by Jamie Lee Curtis & Laura Cornell
• Oh, the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss
• Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? by Dr. Seuss

Happy reading!

Happy New Year!

From our family to yours, best wishes for a 2017 full of health, happiness & kindness!

Choosing kind,

The Dankelson Family

2016 RARE Champion of Hope for Teen Advocacy

Peter was honored by Global Genes with the 2016 RARE Champion of Hope in Teen Advocacy award for his #ChooseKind movement.  He was given the award at a special gala event hosted by Global Genes in Huntington Beach, California.  Below is a video of his tribute given by two former Navy SEALS as well as his acceptance speech.  More videos and photos about this special event can be found on the Global Genes website.

Celebrate #ChooseKind Day on 10/10!

October 10th is being recognized as national #ChooseKind day by fans of the book Wonder by R.J. Palacio.  Auggie is the hero of the story and celebrates his birthday on 10/10.  Here is how you can show your support for #ChooseKind & CCA Kids.

1. Perform a random act of kindness and post about it on social media using the hashtag #ChooseKind
2. Support Peter and Jacob's fundraiser by ordering a #ChooseKind shirt.  Post a pic of yourself wearing the shirt and use the hashtag #ChooseKind
3. Donate $10 to Children's Craniofacial Association in honor of Auggie's 10/10 birthday, Note #ChooseKind Day in the "in Honor of" text box.

Listen to Peter's interview about #ChooseKind Day on RAREcast!

One act of kindness can absolutely change the world.  Be that change and #ChooseKind!

How Did You Spend Your Summer?

Summer breaks are the best time to have surgery and clinic appointments for kids with complex medical needs.  Peter is no exception and spent several days at hospital clinics.  The surgery he had this past summer, however, was 100% his own decision.  Peter, who was born with microtia/atresia (missing his left ear entirely), elected to have surgery for a Cochlear implant called a bone-anchored hearing aid (BAHA).  Peter can hear normally on his right side but is profoundly deaf on his left. This means he is unable to localize sound, hear anyone on his left side, and struggles in loud environments.

With every grade advancement, Peter struggled more with his hearing loss.  Last year, he was especially challenged.  He was a freshman at a larger, public high school trying to make new friends. I can't imagine his frustration at being unable to hear conversations at lunch or in the hallways.  Any loud, crowded gathering was impossible for him to enjoy and left him isolated and exhausted.

Starting in second grade, Peter had access to the BAHA technology by wearing the device on a headband.  Not ideal, but I never wanted him to go through the surgery without testing it.  He would never consistently wear the headband at school or use the FM system that was provided with it.  It was a constant struggle.  When I would ask him if it helped, he would give a non-committal answer. He knew that giving the slightest positive remark might mean having surgery.  His response was always, "I don't want to look like Frankenstein with something sticking out of my head."  The irony of this statement always made me laugh because he already has obvious craniofacial differences. But, I understood his desire not to invite more opportunities for staring.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with this surgery, it is not a huge bolt sticking out of your head! Rather, it's a small snap (like something you would see on Barbi clothes) and barely noticeable. I could've argued about it with him, but I just let it go.  I did not want to force this surgery.  I was also uncomfortable with possible complications-- skin grafts, infection risks, and daily care requirements. I believed that Cochlear would eventually develop a better and safer way to adhere the sound processor, and, fortunately, they did. 

Cochlear now offers the BAHA Attract.  By placing a magnet on top of the retaining screw (the part implanted into the skull to enable bone conduction), there is no need to have the screw protrude from the head.  Thus, no need for a skin graft or daily care of the site.  Even better, no Frankenstein bolt!

Cochlear Attract System

What really sold Peter, however, is that the sound processor is now blue-tooth capable and can be controlled via an app on his iPhone.  He was given a trial to use for a couple of weeks and within a few days of using it, he said, "I think I want to have this surgery."  That was a courageous statement coming from a kid that will do just about anything to avoid surgery.  It was then obvious to me that it was time to move forward with the BAHA.  My job as his primary caregiver and advocate was to make it happen.  This time, unlike many others, my job was easy.

Dr. Michael Shinners, a neurotologist specializing in neurological disorders of the ear, was perfect for Peter's needs.  Dr. Shinners is an excellent surgeon who really listens to and cares for his patients and their families.  He worked with me to understand Peter's anxieties and to ensure the best and safest procedure for the surgery.  Peter has a complex airway, so anesthesia is always a concern.  The team that worked with us at NorthShore's Highland Park Hospital was attentive and professional.  We were very happy with Peter's care from pre-op to discharge.

The night before the surgery, I learned via social media that one of Peter's friends from Children's Craniofacial Association was having the same surgery on the same day.  I was so happy they had each other for support.  It helped Peter knowing that he was not alone, and they had fun comparing scars and haircuts afterwards.  This is one of the many reasons we love our CCA family!

Peter & Ryan - CCA Friends Since 2005

Surgery Day with younger brother, Jacob

Peter was "activated" with the BAHA sound processor one month after surgery.  His eyes lit up and his smile was HUGE when the audiologist turned it on.  Thanks to Dr. Shinners and his team, including audiologist Dr. Susan Marek for making this happen.  Peter just started his sophomore year and is hearing much better in class and in the hallways and is less tired at the end of a school day. 

Because this surgery was Peter's decision, he is 100% vested in caring for the device, and he wears it without being reminded.  Although he would've benefited from having it sooner, making the decision himself was a powerful lesson in self-advocacy.  He ultimately has to manage his own healthcare, and this was an opportunity for him to do that.

Choosing kind,

2015-16 #ChooseKIND School Visit Highlights

Ladera Ranch Middle School - Mission Viejo, CA

Our family had an amazing visit to California last month. We met with about 1,000 sixth graders from Don Juan Avila and Ladera Ranch Middle Schools who all pledged to #ChooseKIND and be upstanders in their communities.  

All of the students we connect with, through either a personal appearance or Skype session, learn about people with facial differences and the challenges they overcome-- things like breathing and eating that we all take for granted.  Our on sight presentations allow students to pass around a feeding tube, a trach tube, and a prosthetic ear while listening to Peter and Jacob share personal stories about surgeries, staring, and a removable ear!

A few key points from our presentations include the following.

Be the gamechanger. Be an upstander.  Be the person who leaves a positive impression. Be "a little kinder than is necessary."  Kindness is a choice you can make anywhere, at anytime, to anyone.

Choosing kind,

Shout Out to EWG Jr. High School in Rhode Island!

Exeter West Greenwich Jr. High School in Rhode Island chose Wonder by R.J. Palacio as their "One Book One School" summer reading program. When classes resumed in the fall, the school held a "Wonder Walk" on their track and raised $4,000 that was donated to Children's Craniofacial Association. This money is helping CCA provide medical-travel assistance to "Real-Life Auggies," funding family scholarships to CCA's annual craniofacial retreat, and supporting CCA's #ChooseKIND Education Curriculum for schools.

The school showed Peter's WonderKid Video about his life at their assembly and then listened to a special video message that Peter sent thanking them for hosting the walk. Below are links and photos from the event. Thanks EWG Jr. High School! You are making the world a kinder place for everyone, no matter what they look like.